k!tk@t

Mixed Emotions

2005-07-19T14:13:00.000+03:00

Yehey...my internet connection fixed, therefore, i'm back to my computer-chat-addicted self. .haayy...i feel so good...haven't updated my blog now for almost two months...it's amazing, too, how sOme people still check for updates...thank you...*wink* (you know who u are)

I feel sad, as well, due to the fact that my parents left last sunday...i can never forget the moment wen my sis said 'i love you, ate'...those words are rarely spoken and once I hear them, there's no denying that they make my heart melt...

I feel tensed because i'm at a very risky stage of failing my anatomy class...i blame it on homesickness, noisy background, high expectations from everybody, senseless prof, crappy and useless book and last but not the least...i blame it on me....

Sheesh, somebody get me outta here...waaaahhh!!!

they say these are symptoms of a FUTURE NURSE...waaahhhh...kapal mukhs un nagsabi nagsabi nun...

GRrrrR...

2005-05-15T22:29:00.000+03:00

right now, i'm really pissed off...here's the scenario...

my mom and i decided to go to the department store which is like walkin distance from our house...(yeah we were alone...trip lang)...we started bonding when all of a sudden, a guy (i believe he was an arab) in an attractive-lookin car with deafenin sounds drives by us and shows off his convertible...u wouldn't say he was "simply passin by" coz he was staring at us...i was pretty impressed with the wheels but i was disgusted with the driver's guts to show off...GrRrR...

these kind of things piss me off and i'm sad to say i'm not yet used to this...i've been livin in the gulf for god-knows-how-many-years and i'm still not yet freakin used to the arrogant behavior of arabs...i know i sound like a racist or something but it's gone too far...this hasn't been the first time i've been 'followed' around...(not to mention incidents that's happened in the malls)...i just wish they'd stop...

catchin up...

2005-05-14T12:08:00.000+03:00

yeah..i've got a bit of catchin up to do...i wasn't able to share my experience yesterday coz my back was somehow killin me...
MAY 13
it's friday the thirteenth and my mom decides to take us out to the beach coz of the lack of time before my departure...*sigh* pure family time...
originally, i had no intention of swimming but due to envy...i had to give in...it was, after all, my last friday here...i had sooo much fun, although i didn't get much sleep the previous night...sleepy but i enjoyed...i even got darker than usual...i miss swimming...one of my fave pastimes when i was younger...*sigh* childhood memories

amazingly, my uncle and i caught a medium-sized squid...the feeling was very indescribable..perhaps, in a few words, an exciting accomplishment....the secret of catching squids, as stated by my uncle was that u have to chase these squids until they get tired...

Anyway, as soon as i got home...i had to jump into bed coz my eyes bacame really drowsy after a long day...despite being tired and BuRnT (ok, maybe i'm exaggeratin a bit too much). i really enjoyed the day...

MAy 14 (today)
well, got up this mornin with the worst back and muscle aches...i didn't realize that the pain from yesterday's would finally give in...awfully tired but received a testimonial today from michael that really swept me off my feet...i am deeply in love with him...

TOdAy's heAdLines

2005-05-12T23:25:00.000+03:00

First of all, i'd like to send special greetings to a very special person...

La!neY greets: "HAPPY BIRTHDAY MichaeL!!!"

Second of all, i feel for those who suffer from failure of telecom services here (no company mentioned)

ADSL FAILS TO SATISFY La!neY

yes, yes...we are included in the list of unsatisfied customers for dsl...we were cut off this morning even though, according to the receipt, we paid "a wee bit too much"...(thanx to my bro)
> are they cutting us off just coz we paid more??? it's sooo frustrating talaga...
Anyway, thanx to kuya again, internet's back...and my bro and i are wild and kickin...internet addicts..heheh...
oh, btw, i don't find it normal that our internet is aMaz!nglY slower than usual...my bro says that their are these 'parasites' from the telecom company...blasted hackers!!! we are sOOOO not satisfied talaga...if only we had other alternatives to choose from...grrr...another frustration

LAiney goes restless this MorNinG

I slept early last night so that i cud start my morning early...i had plans of greeting michael in time for his bday at exactly 12midnight (u.s. time)...Apparently, this dsl service of ours broke down suddenly and totally ruined the rest of my day..i was so helpless and restless...running around the house buggin my bro to get the internet fixed...i usually don't get this frustrated wen it comes to someone's birthday but this time, it's not the same..michael's special for me... ...
But i'm glad i managed to catch him online wen i got home last night...thank goodness talaga...i'm also glad i turned his world into happiness with my greetings...Hapi birthday again!!!

La!neY accepts her upcoming departure at last!!

*sigh...countdown has started for my departure on the 26th...Another 13days left to come!!! i've accepted this 'depressing' news of my departure at last...when i came here, it was my one and only mission to get out of here as soon as possible but as the departure date is approaching so quickly, i really don't wanna bid another goodbye...it just hurts more for me to leave my home yet another time...i'm going through my preparation stages of buying 'pasalubong' and i just hate the thought of leaving...Lately, my dad has been indirectly expressing his thoughts and it just makes me cry to see him this 'longing' for his 'girl' to stay even longer...i feel like i've deprived him of his happiness but i'm sure he'll do alright...this is yet another father-daughter bonding that has to be paused for awhile and postponed till our next meeting..*sob*

these are the main headlines for today..hoped u enjoy reading...signing off...

LoVe is in the Air...

2005-05-11T10:08:00.000+03:00

heheh...i can really smell and feel it around me...coz i'm totally in love right now...and his name is michael...ahihi...

truly, "love moves in mysterious ways"

i can't live a day without him...he's made me speechless after he said those words to me today...i could go on and on...i love u...

wow..i like this personality test..but i prefer match 3...

2005-05-10T00:10:00.000+03:00

Your #1 Match: ISFJ

The Nurturer

You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.
A good listener, you excell at helping others in practical ways.
In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.
You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.

You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

Your #2 Match: INFJ

The Protector

You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.
Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.
You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.
You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.

You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.

Your #3 Match: ISFP

The Artist

You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).
You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.
Simply put, you enjoy bueaty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.
Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate - you are good at recognizing people's unspoken needs.

You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

Your #4 Match: ESFJ

The Caregiver

You are sympathetic and caring, putting friends and family first.
A creature of habit, you prefer routines and have trouble with change.
You love being in groups - whether you're helping people or working on a project.
You are good at listening, laughing, and bringing out the best in people.

You would make a great nurse, social worker, or teacher.

Your #5 Match: INFP

The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

What's Your Personality Type?

mY LovE prof!Le...verY interesting and partially true

2005-05-09T23:42:00.000+03:00

Virgo - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You're incredibly thoughtful and able to give your partner what they need most.

You are totally logical. You can deal with problems without involving your emotions.

A good work ethic. You'll do whatever it takes (within reason) to make your relationship work.

Your negative traits:

Sometimes you are so focused on your goals that you let your relationships suffer

You tend to be a perfectionist - and expect perfection from your mate as well

You are picky. So picky that you rather be single than with someone who has a few minor faults.

Your ideal partner:

Values success in life as much as you do

Fits a checklist of qualities you've been looking for since childhood

Like you, is more practical and realistic than romantic

Your dating style:

Active. You're a bit hyper, so you'd prefer a date that involved rollerblading in the park or hiking.

Your seduction style:

You may seem a bit shy, but once you open up to someone - you're totally uninhibited

You like to set the scene first - candles, music, nice sheets

A bit obsessed with cleanliness, you may want to shower first with your love

Tips for the future:

Soften up a little. Vulnerability is sexy - and feels great over time.

Lower your standards a little. Look past a messy desk or someone being five minutes late.

Praise your partner more. You make expect them to be successful, but complements are still appreciated.

Best place to meet someone online:

eHarmony - the best place to find other busy singles looking for a serious relationship

Best color to attract mate: Navy blue

Best day for a date: Wednesday

Get your free love profile at Blogthings.

he's mY k!tkat

2005-05-09T00:18:00.000+03:00

yes, yes...i'm in love...it's sOoO hard to describe how i feel right now but...

" can't eat, can't sleep, just wanna be with you"

Ever since i met him, i have been the happiest person around...so complete..i know i'm all mushy but i'm sure u've felt sometime or the other...i need him...i'm just so afraid of losing him someday...i really hope he knows how i feel for him...i love u michael (i know u'll be reading this someday)...

TAN - gA...lolz

2005-05-08T11:37:00.000+03:00

yippeee ... i finally found out waht's wrong with the comments-link....

*absolutely nothing's wrong with it*..apparently, i've been clickin on the wrong link...

So, if u want to comment on my posts, simply click on the timestamp under the post and comment away...i'll be trying to deal with that problem when i have the time and PAt!ence to fix it...

i regret not listening during HTML programming lessons...*sigh..hehe...but i'm proud to say i'm learning..haha

"to be near you"

2005-05-07T08:18:00.000+03:00

Have u ever woken up missing someone soOo much that all u can think about is being with that person? but all u can do at that moment is miss him even more because u know u can't be with him at all...

*sigh...that's how i feel right now...

cAr waSh daYs

2005-05-05T19:39:00.000+03:00

My mom came home earlier telling me how much fun my sis had, when they took her to the car wash...hahaha...the cute angel had soOOo much fun..here's how she told me of her "escapades"...or "adventure"

- ate, ate...guess what..we went to the CAR WASH..(it was as if car wash was such a big word...heheh)
> oh? what did u see? what happened?
- it was so sCAry ate...(u shud have seen her talkin...with her big eyes and matching actions of shivering with fear..hahah)
> haha, talaga?
- yeah ate, i saw the car takin a shower with splish splash (hahha..nice use of words..may splish splash pa eh...)

that's when my mom started going down memory lane...telling me how i looked when they took me to the car wash...
hahah...she told me, i was so innocent that i was sooo 'mababaw ang kaligayahan' back then...i would giggle so much in the car that they would laugh so much as well...( see, bata pa ko mahilig na me tumawa)..

i miss my childhood days when i was so happy...
jen reminds me so much of me when i was little...all innocent and cute...heheh...i'm definitely gonna miss her when i leave for philippines....

LaYoUt ko?? any commeNt?

2005-05-04T23:20:00.000+03:00

by the wAy, how's my neW layout?? it is soOoO me talaga...love the colOur...leAve a commEnt, anyoNe...and tag me too...

rEstLesS and LoveLeSs..yipee!!

2005-05-04T22:46:00.000+03:00

*sigh...

i hate to say this but i am such a bum nowadays...right now i feel frustrated, confused, helpless, not to mention useless, loveless and it all makes me wanna cry..maybe i'm lackin sleep or sumthing..maybe i lack inspiration...i hate this...

i really need someone to talk to, enlighten me, or anythin...lately, i've been having breakdowns all of a sudden where i cry so much (syempre when i'm alone)...i can't turn to my parents right now coz they already have so much on their backs...people tell me "kulang lang ako sa mall" but hindi eh...i want something new...why am i so depressed...because some people make me feel as if i should "get a life!!"...it makes me feel that i've been so useless all along...all i want to do is make my family happy...they've done SoOOo much for me and this is my only way to thank them...why can't others realize that i am who i am for me and not only them...that makes me frustrated...and depressed..

i mean, did i ever do anything wrong to them...?? deep inside, i'm hurt and still crying for those words that have been said to me...cumon, place urself in my situation...i know some of u would ignore them pero deep inside, it hurts...it's my life diba?? today's just not my day....*sigh

chattin with some people just make me realize these truths...khit masakit, i gotta be strong diba?? I'M GONNA LIVE MY LIFE FOR ME AND NOT THEM!! that feels better na...pero baka kulang lang sa k!tKat...hehehe...

i have to thank 'chat' though coz that's wer i met some good friends (despite the number of bad ones..hmmpff..shame on them!!! ) thanks to rich, john aldrin, ace, krystian and syempre, the best si MICHAEL...special mention to him coz he made an improvement in my life...i seem happier right now just thinkin of him...ahihi...

i feel a teensy weensy bit better than earlier now...gotaa go now though...have a nice day...

updates! updates! updates!! bored bored bored

2005-05-02T17:36:00.000+03:00

Lolz, due to reese's request for an update, i'm back...

i'm not much into blogging nowadays......i have times wen i feel like being creative and this is not my time...haayyy..what's with me??? i've been addicted to chatting lately...Waking up at 10.30am everyday and then sleeping at 3.30 in the morning. what am I supposed to do?

Anything new?
_ wala unfortunately...
Bagong bf?
_ haayy sana lang...meron sa chat..bwahahaha
Weight?
_hahaha...52 kilos..bulgaran na 2!!! heheh
Bummed?
_yeah!!!
Any wish?
_ wanna go to pinas na!!! i miss my bhe!!!

somebody slap me..lolz....

uu, by the way, ive made a new blog too sa friendster...if u wanna check, it's http://siztah.blogs.friendster.com ..it was just a trial account..had nuthing to do it...so i left it...just like that..kakalokah!!! chuvaness!!

okie...gotta go na

to gO or not to gO...on a diEt??

2005-04-12T01:17:00.000+03:00

hehe...yes, that is the question..i've been 'away' for a while now, trying to figure out what i'll be doin in the near future... And it seems to be a failure somehow... I just don't know what to do while I'm here in Qatar...

I've also realized one thing..I seem to be gaining a few 'kilos' ,not just few pounds...it seems bad news but somehow, to other people, it's a relief... You hear comments from old friends like ' Oi, you look great na' or ' Mabuti na yan na mataba ka na..'

I just don't get it...It's like 'woaaahh', ive gained weight na...let's celebrate...do i look that bad??/!! wen im thin???

Hmm...maybe it's not such a bad idea that I maintain my body like this...I do feel like i have the body of a softdrinks can (sorry to say ^-^) but somehow, i feel great...with soo much time in my hands to relax and eat as much as i want...I've been here for about 4 weeks and my body hAs changed a lot...I'm happy to say my boobs have enlarged as well...hahah..(every girl's wish..) bwahahah...

Unfortunately, there's a disadvantage...I've also outgrown my 'tiny' shirts as a result...but heck, Im having such a grEat summer (in a sarcastic tone) eating everything that's available here at home and reading cook books as well...I've become a certified coUch potAtO also....

Anyway, besides that, I've been so bored lately...Oh wait, I've been invited to Mr X's bday this 17th..The bad thing is that he invited my parents as well and I really can't refuse him this time..What is he trying to do??!! All i want to do is forget him and all he does is bring those memories back...I've been making excuses so that I don't have to go but to no avail... what should I do? what should I do? Right now, I really don't want to see his face but...sigh*

Right now, it's 2 am and I have to get some sleep..too tired to type any more...bye

giTaRisTa of BaLiMbiNg sT.

2005-04-04T10:58:00.000+03:00

Are you just a habit

Or some kind of addiction

Can't seem to get you out of my system

What good you have done to me

Feels so stuck like glue

Turn the pages in my head.

there's only you

I don't care

I would do anything to be near you

I would go anywhere to be near you

Am I truly hopeless

Am I be pathetic

Are you aware of my existence

Would you mean everything to me

If you spend a little time

Could you given to me with an ease resistance

Ahhh...I would do anything

I would go anywhere to be near you

I would do anything, go anywhere

I don't care

I would do anything, anything, go anywhere

I don't care to be near you

Just to be near you

Aww...love ko 2...I was lookin' thru my old cd's and found this particular song in that cd..

I'd dedicate this song to Mr GitAriSta of BaLimbinG St...honestly speaking, i miss him so much...(even before Mr x, the previous guy I posted about, came into my life)

KiTkaT

2005-04-04T03:56:00.000+03:00

Ah, it's a beautiful sunday afternoon....tuuuutt!!! Wrong again!!!

Today is such a boring day...i've just browsed thru my friends profiles in utter boredom...It just makes me miss my loved ones even more...(Talk about loved ones)...ahihi..

Yes, i feel much better all of a sudden..( maybe it's coz i just ate a whole chunky kitkat bar...ummm....just love those). It soothes depression, they say...

I'm also reading my purpose driven life, ( i love this book by the way) It has helped me get somewhere..

"Your life was made for a purpose"

Promises..yeahh right?!!!

2005-04-03T16:25:00.000+03:00

hey guyz... Well, i just started movin on with my life. i know it's gonna be difficult but I'm gonna really try my best.

My first day and i decide to open my first journal on the internet. wow. I guess it would be a good idea to let it out...

today, i just had a chat with one of my friends and hell, i miss the Philippines all of a sudden. I remember when i first came to the Philippines (Im abroad for vacation right now) i used to despise the hustle and bustle of it all, the smell, the smoke, the noise..the people. Now, after living there for a lousy ten months, I can't seem to live a day without thinking about my house, my friends, my tv, my bed and most of all, my dog..

To top it all off, I get blown off to the drain after this recent, painful experience. Now, here's how it goes...ten months ago, i "left" my "special" friend with a promise that i would come back. And he gladly accepted that promise and vowed to himself that he would wait for me so that he would propose. Last week, i arrived with full hope that he would accept me with open arms but he never showed up. A few days later, my family and i attend a party, where unexpectedly I saw a familiar face among the visitors who had also just arrived. It was him...with a girl, whom I supposed was his new girlfriend because of their "lambing" effects in front of me...I tried to hide the pain when he spoke to me...and he spoke to me as if nothing had ever happened between us. I was left there in shock..but I had to hide it because my parents were there beside me. They never knew that we had something goin on and at that moment, I definitely didn't want them to find out. At least not right now. My "special" friend was sitting next to his friend, which happens to be my mom's friend too, ( what a small world )seemed to have noticed the way I felt since she noticed my sudden change of mood. I mean, what could be more painful? Someone you've loved before. ..has suddenly left you...

I remember the days when he would beg me to go out so that he could see me...Every night, he would sing to me...the text messages he sent to let me know that he was on his way to work..and his 'i love you' text messages...He would call up any time of the day unexpectedly just to say the most inspiring words I heard..I love yOu...He would even send me love notes through his mom and she would gladly give them to me during work..If not throgh his mom, he would pass them through his cousins or aunts...I remember his hugs and kisses...With what we had as "special" friends, people would definitely mistake us for lovers and not jus "friends"..Even I don't know what was going between us but all I can say is that I'm honestly and deeply hurt with what just happened..I hope he knows that...I guess it's puppy love...or just friendship...

Whatever it is, I have to learn how to move on....Nothing's gonna happen if I stick to my past...